19/9/2023 I'm one of the lucky ones, for now.
It's tough — a continuous grind — both physically and mentally.
Some days more than others, I feel like giving up. It feels like it's too much, like my tank is empty. But now I know that if I hang on long enough, I regain a little perspective, motivation, energy, and direction. Somebody or something, or simply the passing of time, reignites that spark of life force that keeps pushing me forward. I view these swings as basic training for what life may throw at me, as it has in the past and surely will again in the future. I'm building a callus of conscious resilience, for which I am solely responsible, in addition to the physical resilience gifted to me over millions of years of evolution. Does it have to be a constant grind for the callus to form? Probably, although not necessarily. Do I wish it were somehow easier? Hell yeah. Above all, I wish I could be more present and "enjoy the process," shifting my focus and narrative from "being hard" to "being constructive." I'm not special; we're all in the same boat. If anything, I'm one of the lucky ones, for now. 15/9/2023 Stillness and silence
Being still and silent remains one of the hardest things for me. It's true; I've lost some interest in going full steam ahead in multiple aspects of my life simultaneously, but that feeling of urgency and impatience to move forward has not vanished. If anything, it seems to have become more predominant as I realize I'm in a race against the clock. I still have many dreams and desires in my heart, ones I've had since I was 20 years old, which I have not yet accomplished. This impatient approach is also having the opposite outcome; it's burning my time faster without giving me a chance to appreciate it. Will equilibrium naturally come at some stage? And will I finally accept it? 13/9/2023 Get shit done!
I am listening to Lex's latest podcast with Walter Isaacson, one of the writers I've enjoyed the most in recent years. His biographies of people like Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Einstein, Leonardo, and Benjamin Franklin are among the most inspiring I've read. There is always something to be inspired by and learn from these larger-than-life historical figures.
I have only listened to half of the podcast because, to be honest, I want to digest what has been shared so far. Sometimes, to get shit done, I need to let go of the fear of judgment, offending people, or being disliked. When my guiding principles and values are honorable and, of course, I don't harm anyone or put someone in danger in the process, along with all the other obvious considerations that go with it. I am starting to open my eyes to the truth of how this innocent and widespread fear has affected my life over the years, both personally and professionally. Now is the time to tackle some of these fears in my daily life and risk being a little more authentic. Because ultimately, “If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.” 4/9/2023 Don't talk about it. Be about it.
I watched Jim Walmsley's interview after UTMB and particularly enjoyed the last couple of minutes of the interview.
Running is hard work. It's mentally and physically demanding. It takes discipline and commitment. And it's not always easy to stay motivated. This holds true for everyone, from novice runners to professional athletes. Ultimately, what makes the difference is the hard work we put in. "Don't talk about it. Be about it." Twenty-four hours after an epic race, the highlight of his career, and a dream come true, Jim humbly shared his vulnerability to the process of running. 1/9/2023 Afterglow
I love that afterglow feeling from running hard for a cause I'm passionate and an event I contributed to bring to life over several months.
Other times it is the afterglow from completing a race or an adventure I trained and focused on weeks on end. This, for me, is the true runners high – the knowledge that I've accomplished what I set out to do. It's a moment to appreciate the effort I've poured in, effort that's a big part of who I am. Of course, I'll soon be diving into "the next thing", that's just my nature. But today, I'm taking a pause, soaking in the sense of accomplishment, and being grateful for this moment. |
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